So I was saying earlier today that I was overwhelmed with things - family stuff, work & other things. The family & work stuff is always going to be there & I am not going into it here. The other stuff thought - some of it has been weighing heavy on my mind lately and it really shouldn't be. So its time to unload & put it out there. Not like anyone reads this anyway - it's just free therapy for me!
Other stuff (in no particular order!)
Clipless pedals on my bike, open water swimming, running; being treated like I am in the wrong for changing up some things in my life; jaw pain (resolved today after getting a tooth pulled!); golf tournament planning; not being heard... the list could go on for days, but you get the idea. On the exercise front, after I injured my shoulder I had swapped the clipless pedals for flat pedals to give my shoulder time to heal. Well it is pretty much as healed as it is going to get, so the clipless ones are back on it. I am nervous about riding - I know I am not going to have a problem, but I am still hesitant to get out the bike and practice. I know I am going to have to overcome this & just do it, but it is taking a bit of time - which I don't really have because there are races on the horizon! Which leads to another "worry" of mine - open water swimming. I have done it at the lake & have the lake swim on July 4th. I know I can do that (at least I think I can!) I have signed up for a sprint tri in July with a 750M swim in the Potomac River. I will admit I am a bit nervous about it - mainly because it is the unknown. I am going to try to get some open water practice in the next week or so and hopefully this will calm my nerves a bit. Running - my old friend. The treadmill has messed me up - it is so easy to keep a steady pace on it. Seems when I go outside, I slip back into my old habits of listening to the voices in my head telling me its okay to walk. I know it is okay, but I don't actually need to walk, but I do it anyway. It is frustrating & the only person who can change it is me, so I am going to work on it this weekend on my long run. All of these are minor & they don't stop me from continuing with my training - they are just things I let take over my mind (along with the dreaded flip turn!) On a personal level, over the past year, I have made some pretty big changes in my life. I have felt that some people may not be quite so happy with my changes even though I am really happy. I keep thinking that I have been in the wrong and haven't been a good friend. Then I realized that relationships are a two-way street. I don't need to shoulder all of the burden in keeping a friendship going. I don't have to be the person to always make the plans to get together. If the friendship is true, both parties will make an effort. It has taken me years to come to this realization, but I finally have & I am glad. If people think I am selfish by making this decision, then I am not going to worry about it anymore - it is their problem not mine. The Joey C Cup - same feelings just another year. Tournament is on Sept 26th and the clock is ticking. The letters need to be written & mailed. Matthew & I have a great contact at Inova & he is helping us out a lot, but it is still something I know needs to get done & it isn't yet. I need to set up a calendar with real deadlines & stick to it!
Two years ago, I decided to to let some friendships go. I've had people pull away from me before with no explanation whatsoever and I hated it. So I told these people that I was done and why.
ReplyDeleteNothing mean but I had to let them know that life is hard! In order to get through it, I needed to be surrounded by people like me and people who thought like me. People who are in love with their spouse and we're committed to making it work. People who liked hanging around their kids. People who didn't call their kids and spouses nasty names. People who were real and experienced the bad but chose to focus on the good. People who could apologize and forgive.
I received angry responses and I'm OPK with that. But I, too, am a firm believer in "reason, season or lifetime" and I did what was best for me.
I have no regrets and I'm glad you are not worrying about it, either.