True to myself

What's in a name?  Back when I started this blog, I was trying to find some "me time" in my busy life.  I think I have finally done it.  Since mom's anniversary is approaching, it is the usual time of year for me to reflect on life & think about mom a little more than I usually do.  The last few months have been really challenging - both emotionally & physically. There has been medical issues that need to be handled (for myself & others) along with everyday things that need attention (yes, it's called life - I know!) and these are the times when I miss mom the most.  She was my sounding board & I could always count on her to listen when I needed to talk (even if she didn't agree!)  Not to say that I don't have anyone to talk to, but I don't always like to unload on my friends - that's what mom was for & I miss picking up the phone & hearing her on the other end.  

In looking back, I see so many positives in my life today.  I didn't know where I was going when I started this a few years ago - all I knew was that I wasn't happy & I wanted to be happy with myself & in life. Over the course of a few years, I have said goodbye to some friends & made some wonderful new ones.  Some of the ones I have known for the shortest amount of time are the ones I feel I have known forever.  The old saying that everyone is in your life for a reason is true - we just need to make sure that our eyes are open to what it put in front of us. In 2003, I started shutting myself down to people & it never changed until a year after mom passed.  I didn't want to be get close to people or be involved in their lives because I felt it would only lead to more sadness. Little did I know was that it was really only hurting myself.  I need people in my life.  I like my personal time, but I really thrive when I am with others. It makes me happy to spend time with my friends. They keep me grounded & for that I am eternally thankful.  Without them in my life, I would probably still be angry & unhappy.  So to all of you have been there, I love you all & hope that I will someday be able to thank you for helping me become the person I am. 

If you aren't happy with the way things are going, think about changing.  It doesn't need to be a huge change - small things can get you moving in the right direction. Be willing to take the first step, you never know where it will lead you!