...they ain't big enough! I had that song going through my mind when I clicked the register button earlier this week to sign up for my first full Ironman next October in Louisville. Once I registered, my stomach turned into butterflies. I was excited & scared. All sorts of things flashed through my mind, but I knew it was the right move. I am taking on a huge challenge. It isn't just about completing 140.6 miles on Oct 9th. Its about the journey and me finding my way. It isn't going to be easy. It is going to take all I have to make it through to the finish line. And will probably be one of the toughest challenges I have willing faced - physically, mentally & emotionally.
My final big race of the season is in two weeks - the Richmond Marathon. So this weekend, I had my final long run to get in. October has been an interesting month - ups & downs around every corner. Some blues post-Augusta but not as bad as I thought they would be. I had the golf tournament (which was another successful fund raiser!) and work kept me busy. Ironman Maryland was a nice break from training. It was great to watch my friends & teammates go the distance & finish with smiles. I hope the same will be said for me next October.
In an effort to use of some vacation time, I took Friday off & had a massage after a disappointing swim. As I sat on the couch Friday night, I complained to the cats about my shoulder & back hurt. All I got from them was a stare. I tried to shift my attitude & come up with a plan for the run. The plan said 3 hours. I had a goal of 16-17 miles, but to be honest, I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I have a habit of letting my mind take over & convince myself to slow or walk or make excuses for myself. By the time I woke up Saturday, it was already 7:30. Thoughts of skipping the run passed through my mind & I pushed them aside. I reminded myself how lucky I am to be able to run & left the house. My run was going to start at the gym & take the loop down to the trail. I couldn't stomach the thought of being on the CCT for the entire 3 hours. Took my music & some gels with me & started the watch. The music switched on & I quickly shut it off. I don't know why I did that because I always run with music, but I didn't want the noise. I told myself I would see how far I could go without it. Before I knew it, I had run most of the loop & was at the trail. There were a few people out, but thankfully it is nothing like the W&OD. It is so peaceful & without music, it was a beautiful run. The miles were adding up & I was holding a steady pace. All of the sudden I heard a flurry of activity to my left & looked over to see 3 deer staring at me about 15 feet away. About 2 minutes later there was another standing on the trail looking at me before bounding off to the right. A little farther along & there was a buck just off the trail. It was so peaceful - just me, the deer & the leaves under my feet. If I had been listening to my music, I would have missed them. As I left the trail and headed up Pickett Hill (I get some sick satisfaction running up that hill at the end of a run - even if it is slow), a woman was leaving the ball fields. She looked at me & said - you can do it. I replied that this was the fun part & I believed it! With each step up the hill, I thought back to 2012 when I started running. I couldn't make it 30 feet before I had to stop. I'm so glad I stuck with it even when it seemed I was making no progress. When I got back to the gym, I realized I needed 5+ minutes more to hit 3 hours and headed to the treadmill. I saw my friend Theresa & ran with her. Before I knew it, my run was finished. My legs felt like they could keep running & I was happy. Bonus was that I did all 16.5 miles without music.
This afternoon, on a whim, I decided to go swim. When I go to the pool, I realized I left my watch in the car. No data = no swim passed through my mind. I said the hell with it, I'm swimming without it. I hopped in the pool & when the clock hit 43:00, I pushed off. I had no plan, but after 300, I decided this was going to be my timed 1000. Hadn't done one in months and I felt good. I ended up swimming my best one to date. Without my watch beeping at me, I focused on swimming - counting my laps & occasionally looking at the clock. It was a great swim - relaxing & a steady pace. Usually, I like the data that I get from the watch, but I really loved swimming without it today. I needed this weekend to get clear my head & say goodbye to the last few weeks. I found the excitement I haven't felt in a while. All the runs & swims can't be as nice as these were, but I am grateful when I get to experience them.
For the record, I am nervous about whats ahead for me this next year. I know with the help of my coach & friends, I will make it through & be better off for it. And God willing, I will cross that finish line with a smile. Find something you love to do & embrace it. Do it while you can because you never know what tomorrow may bring!
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