Remember why

In this day & age, it can be challenging to keep sight of your goals in the midst of everything life throws at you. I haven't written since I walked off the course at Richmond in November. I took a short break from structured training. I still trained, but I didn't have a set plan to follow. Mainly I needed a mental break from the plan. The holidays came and for the first time in 5 years, I didn't dread them. I spent Thanksgiving with my family. I got into the Christmas spirit & bought a live tree. I haven't done that since 2010 & it was for my parent's house. Cats didn't quite know how to handle the tree, but they didn't knock it over, so I'll consider it a win. I was genuinely looking forward to the holidays and was determined to enjoy them. For the most part, I succeeded. The week before Christmas, I went through mom's recipes looking for inspiration for Christmas morning. Every Christmas at mom & dad's, we always had breakfast set out. It was always the same - sausage, eggs, fruit & apple cake. I had never tried to make mom's apple cake & I wanted to surprise my dad with it. Thankfully, it turned out. When dad arrived on Christmas day, at first he didn't want any food because we were heading to my cousin's place for dinner. I had wrapped up most of the cake as a "gift" for him to take home. When he realized what I had made, he changed his tune & tried it. Said it was just like mom's. That made my day. Funny how a simple cake can make your holiday, but it did. Made it feel normal & it made dad happy, so that recipe will stay at the forefront of the holidays going forward. After Christmas, I had some things to deal with and felt myself getting run down. Before I knew it, it was new year's eve & time to run the Fairfax Four. I had barely run since November & I didn't know what would happen. I had a plan - run & pray that it didn't hurt. I hoped to finish under 38 minutes, but had no expectations. To be honest, I almost didn't show up. I ran the race & kept a smile on my face, but I wasn't happy. It was a decent race & I wasn't in pain. I was glad to be able to run when so many can't. Since the year started, I have been trying to find my way back to training. I feel like I have been waiting for someone's approval, but I realize the only person I need approval from is myself. I need to step out of my new comfort zone. When I chose the path I am on, I did it for me. It made me happy. I need to find that happy place again & get in the groove of it. This morning, while shoveling snow, my neighbor asked me how I got into triathlons. My short answer: because of my friend, Dave. He was so enthusiastic about the sport and I wanted to tri it too. Problem was I was afraid to put my head in the water. So I took that first step & asked him for help in the pool. Telling that story made me smile. I remembered why I train. The reasons is simple. because I can & it makes me happy. It's a blessing that I am able to do this. I'm able to do it because I was willing to ask for help. As I was writing this, I realize that is the basis for succeeding in life. Be willing to ask for help when you need it. We can't do it all on our own. Trying to might make you miserable - trust me, I tried this. For those of us that are independent & try to do it all alone (read: stubborn!), it can be hard to ask for help, but being willing to admit that you need someone's help is a step in the right direction. I try every way possible to do it alone, but things would be simpler if I would just ask for help in the first place. I have a long year ahead of me & I will need help along the way. As the season ended, I was lost & didn't know where I was headed. I knew I had an Ironman on the schedule, but I wasn't sure what I was doing, I just knew I wanted to do it. I needed to refocus & remember why I was doing things. To all of you who kept me going the last two months, thank you for your friendship. It is good to know there are people out there who see things & are not afraid to say talk about it.

Total side note - I was doing a silly Facebook test about my Bible verse for the year. This is what it came up with. I hope it means I will have the strength to get through everything ahead of me this year!

Isaiah 40:31

but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength. 

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.